Stop Paying ‘Settle’ Money: A Nigerian Driver’s Guide to Beating Extortion.

That N5,000 Still Dey Pain Me

My papers were correct. Everything. Fresh insurance, valid license, vehicle papers complete.

But this officer looked at my insurance like I printed it at home. Shook his head. “This one no clear.”

He’s now doing that thing they do – walking around my car slowly, looking for trouble where there’s none.

“Oga, abeg help me. I dey run late.”

He leaned in. “You know this insurance fit be fake abi? But if you settle small thing, make we forget am.”

I paid N5,000. He smiled and waved me on.

Three months later, still vex when I remember.

The worst part? I didn’t know I could actually do something about it.

It Actually Works (When You Do It Right)

My guy Tunde got his car impounded at Ojota. Same story – complete papers, but police said something “get problem.” Demanded N50k.

Tunde no gree. They took his car.

Man was proper vex. He reported everywhere – called numbers, sent emails, put it on Twitter. Tagged all those government accounts.

One week later? They released his car. No payment. The officer got queried.

He showed me the response letter. I couldn’t believe it.

That’s when I knew – this thing works. Just that nobody does it properly.

What You Must Collect (Sharp Sharp)

Most reports fail because the information is weak.

“Officer harassed me on Third Mainland yesterday!”

Which officer? What time exactly? Them fit find am?

You need:

Officer’s name/number – Check the name tag. If them cover am, that one sef na offense. No name tag? Note their description.

Location (specific) – Not “Ojota.” Say “Ojota, under bridge, inbound Ketu, after BRT lane.”

Date and time – Exact details.

What happened – Wetin them say, how much them demand.

Evidence – Video, audio, anything. This one na the real game changer.

Witnesses – Anybody wey see am.

How to Record Without Wahala

Drop your phone for your lap or dashboard casually. Camera facing them, but not obvious.

Or pretend you wan make call, but you don press record Or you get the camera glasses (Rayban Meta Glasses)

If them catch you and vex, just apologize. Delete if you need to. Your safety first.

But legally? You get right to record public officers on duty.

Where to Report (The Ones Wey Actually Respond)

For Police Officers

• Call: 0800-200-0010 (toll-free CRU line)
• Email: complaintresponseunit@npf.gov.ng
• X (Formerly Twitter): @PoliceNG_CRU (tag them, they respond) make sure to also tag the PRO of the state you are in.

For FRSC (Road Safety)

• Call: 122 (free from any network)
• Twitter: @FRSCNigeria

For LASTMA/VIO (Lagos)

• Twitter: @jidesanwoolu @followlasg (Lagos responds to social media)
• Search “Lagos Public Complaints Unit” for their current number

What to Do When It Happens

Stay calm. Vex no dey help your case.

Ask questions. “Officer, which part get problem exactly?” Make them explain.

Suggest the station. “Let’s go to your station, I go pay the proper fine there.” This one dey shock them.

Document everything – even if just mental notes.

If you must pay (sometimes no choice), remember everything. Then report immediately.

The Twitter Method

Short and factual:

“@PoliceNG @PoliceNG_CRU

[Date] at [time], [location] – officer demanded ₦[amount] despite complete documents.

Officer: [details you get]

[Attach evidence]

Please investigate. #EndExtortion”

No insults. Just facts. Attach proof.

People go retweet. Them go respond.

But warning: Only use this if your story correct. If you lie, na you go suffer.

Real Talk: Will Anything Happen?

Honest answer? Not always.

Sometimes them go say “we’re investigating” and you no go hear anything.

But sometimes – more than before – them actually sanction people. Dismiss them sef.

I know someone wey got refund after reporting LASTMA officer. Three other people report the same guy that week. All with video.

Two months later, them remove the guy.

E dey happen. Just not every time.

My Advice?

Try am once. Even if nothing happen, you go feel better say you try.

And the more people wey report, the more them go know we no dey take nonsense.

But Just Keep Your Papers Correct Sha

Best strategy? Make sure your documents correct always.

No expired anything. Everything valid and current.

That way, even if officer wan harass you, them no get leg to stand on.

And if you tire of renewal stress, document wahala, running to offices – we handle everything at Kitaniz. Registration, renewals, insurance, change of ownership, all of am.

You drive. We handle the papers.